Monday, June 6, 2011
So, I've graduated high school now. Next comes the move to college and then on with life I suppose. Reflecting back on my life I wonder what progress I really have made, and I can only come up with one thing. When I whistle with my teeth I can make a room full of parakeets quiet. Not very exciting, but rather interesting I suppose. It's almost like they're paralyzed by the shrill sound of the whistle. I wonder if I'm kind of like them, just making a lot of noise and not really paying attention until something barges its way into my consciousness. Or maybe I have accomplished more and I just don't realize it yet. Anyways, I suppose it's off to better things now, right? Right. Hopefully. I'm not so sure I fully comprehend the change that's about to come...it'll probably hit when I'm loading my stuff into the car to start on my 9ish hour voyage to Michigan Tech. 50 years from now I bet there will be a lot of things I won't still be able to do...but dang it, I bet I'll still be able to whistle at birds. Wow, so it's come to this.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Is it really so difficult to be civil? Maybe no human's ever really been great at it, but our grandparents were certainly a hell of a lot better at it than we are. And their grandparents before them. As generations get younger and younger, it seems that the loss of civility is increasing. Now I'm not saying that we have to go back to hoop skirts and repressed rights, but we've lost even the courtesy to hold a door open for somebody 30 seconds behind us. I'm living with my two younger sisters and my parents for about two more months and then I'll be heading up to Michigan Technological University to obtain my major in chemistry and my minor in music, but I don't think the civility issue is going to change there (though maybe guys will be more gentlemanly given the percentage of males to females there is 74% to 26%...we'll see). My dad isn't the coolest cat in town, so to speak. He used to be drunk all the time but he's thankfully sobered up. My mom is just trying to cope with keeping him sober and happy (he's on anti-depressants also) but her situation is made more difficult by them. Now, them refers to the creatures I am forced to name as my sisters. I admit, I've said and done things I'm not proud of but at least I am aware of the fact that my actions were wrong and that I was incorrect in what I said, etc. These inhuman monsters represent the loss of civility I see happening all around. They are 16 and 14, respectively, and they have no morals or manners or souls for that matter. They torment my mother and me, and they make my dad angry and more depressed, boding bad for everybody. What I don't understand is how they can turn out so poorly in the same environment that I grew up in. Like I said before, I'm not perfect. But at least I acknowledge my mistakes! They don't even admit that screaming, yelling, bullying, punching, and whoring around is bad. They are shameless and immoral. It is an extremely dangerous combination. So now I am sitting here listening to the yelling and blogging about it, because it's come to this. My dad is over-zealous about the idea of his daughters (3 of us, myself included) being in a rock and roll band. Granted it's not my favorite thing in the world, but I understand his need to live vicariously through us, given his terrible childhood. He's been trying to show us songs that he wants us to play (most of them terrible male metal bands) but despite my amiable attitude towards the songs and my gentle rejections of them, my "sisters" flat out refuse and complain and drive everybody up a while. So now my dad is angry on his way to Sault Ste. Marie and has left behind the yelling of my mom versus the devil (in the form of my sisters). I would get into it, but every time I do, I usually end up physically injured because I refuse to hit back. It's a great situation. So even though I will leave it behind in a couple months, I know it will still be here, and probably even worse off without me around to support the good side. It will always be built into my psyche, however, and I know it'll be around me wherever I go. Can we just bring civility back? Advertisement, clothing lines, tv shows, etc....none of it helps. Do I really have to live under a rock in the rain forest to experience civility? Apparently. And so it's come to this.